This week has been hellish. And if you don’t like my language, I suggest you don’t read my blogs. I’m honest, blunt and sometimes downright pissed about having this disease and it will show in my writing…If I offend, I’m sorry, but there’s no more beating around the bush with this!
I’ve been in full flare for the last 5 days. Migraines that never fully go away, pain in my shoulder, hips, back and neck, spams in my back and legs. All makes it difficult for me to sleep and rest properly. I haven’t even wanted to get out of bed to eat.
I am lucky enough to do much of my job at home but there are times that I have to travel for work, as well. I will be home for months preparing for a film before I have to be on a set for a month at a time…Well, when a job comes along, in my biz, you take it! There’s no turning down cause you don’t feel well. I’ve got filming this weekend, I edited all weekend from bed, edited all last week, filming the following weekend, traveling to another state for a location scout for a week, then back home to finish prep for 2 films to be done back to back in October and November. Not to mention the 3 TV shows I have going on right now.
I’m lucky, so lucky, to do the job that I love and this damn disease is starting to take a toll on me! I can’t stand that I’m not able to enjoy the full experience the way I used to. I love my job and don’t ever want to give it up. I refuse to let this effen Fibro and RA take my career. It’s already got a hold of most of my personal life.
Maybe there’s 4 stages of grief with this, as there is when someone close to you dies…
1. Shock
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Acceptance
It’s obvious, I’m in stage 3…I don’t like stage 3. I used to be someone who had a smile on my face at all times. Now I can’t even fake it. Good thing I’m not an actor or I would have no more work…
The great thing about my biz is that I’m planning on shedding light on these invisible illnesses. I can’t say much right now, but I will as soon as I can! I’ve googled Fibro and celebrities and there’s very few that have come out to say that they have it. In fact, I only saw one. I’m sure they’re in fear of not being hired, just as the rest of us are in our own businesses. Well, I’m just about pissed off enough to change it.
Keep an eye on what I’m doing – I will keep you all posted! I’m counting on this to get me to #4, acceptance….
